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[27 Jun 2006|06:41am] |
I can understand it better now. I wanted to cut badly this morning, but I didn't. And when I don't, the reasons become clearer. It probably sounds really stupid, but I just never thought about why that much before. I just did it.
It's when you're in pain, on the inside. You feel so bad, you don't know what to do. You can't fix it, cause it's not a physical hurt. You can't locate the pain, it's just there, always hurting, everywhere. But you can't feel it physically. You're upset, down, depressed, in pain, but you can't see it or feel it as a physical hurt. So you cut, so you have something you can see, something you can feel, that stings and hurts and bleeds. It represents the pain you feel on the inside. It's a symbol.
Yeah...just had to get that out somewhere.
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[27 Jun 2006|05:05pm] |
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well I leave for camp this sunday. and I am NOT excited. I will be gone for a month. and I just cant stand some of the people I will be stuck with. what do I do if I NEED to cut. like I'm freaking out. Im sure it wont happen, but what if. last year at camp I did. but last year we had cabins and when I did it no one was in there. but were going to be in tents. and we will be hiking a lot. and I dont know. I'm just not excited.
comment if you want. it would help.
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